Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Guest Post w/ Victoria Vane--Old Western Proverbs for the win!


Janice Combes has two loves, bucking bulls and Dirk Knowlton. But Dirk only has eyes for a dazzling rodeo queen. How can Janice ever compete while mired ankle-deep in manure? Exchanging playful banter with Dirk is all Janice can expect-until the stormy night he knocks on her door dripping wet and needing a place to crash.

Dirk Knowlton is living the cowboy dream. Life should be good-roping, branding, backing broncs, riding bulls, but there's a void he can't seem to fill. After getting hung up by a bull, he wonders if this is really the life he wants. Restless and rebellious, he bolts...but there's a certain cowgirl he can't forget.

When a battle-scarred Dirk returns to his Montana ranch he's determined to hang on at any cost. Janice has come back home to lick her own wounds. When old dreams turn to dust, can two wary hearts take another chance on love?

Amazon | All Romance | Book Depository | BAM | Goodreads
Thanks so much for having me here today. One of my goals in writing a contemporary Western was to try to give my characters a genuine voice. Anyone who has spent any amount of time around real ranchers and cowboys will be struck by the particular brand of humor that is unique to the West. Much of this stems from the old Western proverbs. I thought I’d share some of these with you today in hope of giving you all a chuckle.  Here are some of my favorites:
1. Always drink upstream from the herd. - Will Rogers 
2. There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence. 
3. The bigger a man's gun the smaller his doodlewick. ~ Calamity Jane 
4. You can't tell how good a man or a watermelon is 'til they get thumped. ~ Judge Roy Bean 
5. Never miss a good chance to shut up.~ Judge Roy Bean 
6. Don't squat with your spurs on. -- Will Rogers 
7. Careful as a naked man climbin' a barbed wire fence 
8. If you're riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there. 
9. Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction. -- A bronc rider should be light in the head and heavy in the seat. 
10. Broke is what happens when a cowboy lets his yearnin's get ahead of his earnin's. Any cowboy can carry a tune. The trouble comes when he tries to unload it. 
11. When in doubt, let your horse do the thinkin'. 
12. When a cowboy's too old to set a bad example, he hands out good advice. 
13. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket. -- Old West Proverb 
14. Tossin' your rope before buildin' a loop don't ketch the calf. 
15. Polishing your pants on saddle leather don't make you a rider.
16. A closed mouth gathers no boots. 
17.
Don't name a cow you plan to eat.
18. Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads.
19. Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
20. A wink's as good as a nod to a blind mule.
21. There never was a horse that couldn't be rode, or a rider that couldn't be throwed.
22. When in doubt, let your horse figure it out.
23. Don't worry about bitin' off more'n you can chew; your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.
24. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
25. There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works
26. A pair of six-shooters beats a pair of aces.
27. Speak your mind, but ride a fast horse.
28. You'll never break a horse if you stay sittin' on the fence.
What is your favorite proverb or witticism?


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