Dude. Yall. Seriously.
Times you should NOT drop trou and go at it like monkeys...
One. When the building around you IS BURNING TO THE GROUND!!!
Two. Locked in a dungeon where your buddy had been kept for months and tortured. With it's nasty dirty toilet, blood and filth on the floor, and, you know, the people holding you captive!Seriously? A boner?
Okay I'm not even gonna count anymore...
When you're running through the hot desert with a drug cartel hunting you.
Haven't bathed for days.
Scorpions watching you.
That's not sexy sweat dripping down your crack.
Should you strip down and bump naughty bits??
And for the love of naked bits.
If you're gonna have quickie car sex or nookie out in nature...don't strip off all your clothes!
Uncover the good parts and go at it.
But seriously. All the clothes?
Do you know how hard it is to get out of clothes in a small car?
Or back IN those clothes when you're just a little damp?
Or how quick your naked asses are gonna get caught?
Think, people! Think!
Beach, Cave, or any other place there's sand.
I just. No.
Sandy crotch is not good.
Not good at all.
Best get to relocating.
In the snow.
IN. THE. SNOW.
Do you want bits to fall off? Because bits are gonna fall off.
And dude. If you've been running through the jungle/desert/mountains and it's been days or weeks, or you've been working out, digging in the dirt under the hot sun all day, etc...
ORAL IS OFF THE FUCKING TABLE.
You best find yourself a shower and freshen up the goods.
Crazy ass heroes and heroines.
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