The Herd Archives

Friday, February 24, 2017

Bookish Things That Need To Die A Fiery Fucking Death


A couple weeks back I shared the Bookish things I'd LOVE to see more of in 2017.

Now?
The bookish things I wish would DIE A FIERY DEATH!
Die. A. Fiery. Death.
And, yes, I'm gonna rant, yall. Sorry. (but not really lol)

Serial books.

Ugh. Huge reader ugh for me.
Serials make me stabby.
Wait a couple extra months and put the whole thing out at once.
A couple chapters at a time is a real fucking annoyance.
And I know, I know. People are all just wait until they're all out. But lordy that's no better because then there's 3-15 flipping files on my kindle to sort through in order to read one dang story. Plus they're almost always full of repetition and transitions between segments are noticeable.

I just had a request a couple weeks ago for a book that was released years ago as a full story and now? It's being released as a serial. Duuude. What the everlivingfuck? Why buy 3 files instead of one that's already published?! #DoneLostYourMind

And unannounced cliffhangers.

Seriously. If you want me to never EVER read you again...do this.
Hate them with a fucking passion.
It's so fucking rude to let people think you're giving them a full romance/story and then leave things where the couple is broken up and everything is in shambles and oh you'll have to buy the next two books before there's any actual HEA. Surprise!

And I'm over here like "bitch, please!"

Now if it's like in urban fantasy were each of the books has resolution of a mystery/case/specific issue and they're happy at the end (even with an HFN) we're most likely cool. There's been some resolution and it's a complete story with the next being a new circumstance. So like Patricia Briggs, JD Robb, Ilona Andrews and how they do their series. But if you're marketing yourself as a full book that's a romance and don't announce it's a cliffhanger and all other books will be required to get an actual HEA or HFN...it makes you an asshole.

Those that do announce hey I'm a cliffie.. I totally appreciate yall.

The Phrase: He was hungry but...not for food.
Dude. Come on. Apparently no one is ever hungry for actual pie.
This is one of the most overused phrases in romance.
And always makes me roll my eyes.


Heroine's slapping/hitting their heroes

Okay serious now. Yall know I hate this and talked about it a while back in depth.
It's probably my least favorite thing to read about that's been normalized in a romance

I know a lot of you will say oh I've never read that kind of thing! Chances are, though, that if you read mainstream romance you've read it and just didn't take notice. It's been normalized and most really don't notice it at all. I've had people claim never to have but we've read the same book where it's happened and I point it out and get an Oh! from them.

For authors or even readers that come across it. One thing to consider. Reverse the roles of the characters. If the hero hit the heroine (out of anger) would you be okay with it?
If not...don't have the heroine doing it without serious repercussions. Don't brush it off as no big deal. This image was shared in a FB romance group I'm in and all the women were liking and laughing over it. But really. What if the man was the one hitting the woman because he didn't get a blow job or whatever. Would it still be funny?

Men are abused by partners at a horrifying rate and have very few resources when they are trying to deal with partner abuse. Don't normalize their abuse in romance

TSTL heroines

Dude. I get making an honest mistake but Sweet Mary and the baby Jesus some of these women.

At some point I'm gonna be like 'hon, I'm okay with the bad guy knocking you off and the hero finding another heroine who isn't so dang stupid'

#DontBeThatGirl

Journalists. 

Journalists can be...okay. Sometimes.
But nearly every time journalist is a heroine (not the case with heroes) she's incredibly selfish and either put the hero or others at risk to...get the story.
That makes them incredibly unlikable.
They usually are coupled with the aforementioned TSTL heroine tendency.

Male journalists I've not found this to be the case, though.

The word moist. Or ooze.
Stop. It.


Stop it now. lol

Secret babies.
This is so not the same as an oopsie baby. That happens.

But gah the heroines who know they're pregnant and then hide the baby from the hero for whatever fucked up reason they think is acceptable and only tell him when they need something from them (medical, safety, money, etc)...make me stabby.

They're always such spiteful selfish women who try to act like they're martyrs for having raised the kid on their own.
No. You're an asshole bitch. #EndOfStory

*and I'm not talking about if the baby daddy was abusive or tried to kill her or whatever since obviously he's not going to be the hero unless it was a misunderstanding I'm talking hiding because she doesn't like his job or because he never wanted kids or doesn't want to share or thinks he'd be better off without them, etc.

Endless cover changes.


For fucks sake.
PICK A COVER!!
Pick a motherfucking cover.
One cover change. Okay. Book rights change and other things can pop up to warrant one change.
But if you're now on your 4th...7th..10th cover for a book?!
Dude.
Your hero/heroine are buying into commitment.
You can fucking do the same.
*nods*




Okay. I think that's all of my ranting for today. lol
Some went serious. Some are just silly.
But that's what I never want to see again please and thanks!

What about you? What trends or things in reading do you really not want to see ever again?

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~Anna