Tuesday, October 16, 2018

1 star-- The Rescuer by Ann Omasta

What the fresh fucking hell?! This is one of those reads someone should have stepped in and said no. Just...no. What a ridiculous mess. I'm actually kind of pissed it wasted my time. Yall. I'm about to have me a rant. So, yeah, there will be spoilers in this review.
The Gist: The heroine finds herself at the bank during a robbery and offers herself up as the hostage so they'll leave a little deaf girl alone. She'd been eye fucking the girl's daddy while waiting in line and just couldn't let her be taken.
And then...he rescues her in a really eye rolling manner-- because it's totally brilliant to somehow get up in the ceiling and drop down into a room of armed bank robbers when you don't have a gun or any training yourself-- and then there's sparks and fucking and everything's going well even though they've only known each other a few hours.

And I was like okay, I can deal. *suspend reality for a hot fuck* I can deal. I can. Plus it's pretty cool on the ASL bit and seeing daddy and daughter sign with each other.

But then, yall, things go wrong.

See. They fuck against his hallway wall that first night and while he's still got his dick in her fucking body she's like oh by the way I was in on the bank heist where they almost took your daughter as a hostage and nearly got everyone killed.

Yall.

She gets sent to prison (she bravely turns herself in and the police are so impressed by that) and decides to start up a sign language program so the inmates can learn it and talk without the guards knowing what they're saying and then when they get out they can get jobs as interpreters.

Because, really, towns and organizations are totally gonna jump all over having ex-cons who learned from a textbook with no instructor other than a bank robber.

A year later she gets out and surprise! the daddy is there ready to take her home because he loves her (after knowing her for 4 hours during a bank heist and not talking to her since) and they fuck again and she moves in with him and his daughter that night. That. Night. Because that is a great fucking decision.

Of course when no one will hire her like I said she starts working for the prison running the ASL program and adds a service dog program so deaf people can have service dogs (they...don't usually as far as I know but whatever)

Unfuckingbelievable.

The writing itself was mediocre at best. Definitely not good enough to save this insane and far fetched storyline. It's short and covers a year in 100ish pages. It's in first person and basically giving a step by step guide of everything the heroine does.

I'll also say this book and it's glowing reviews are why I don't trust Amazon/Goodreads reviews for shit. 5 stars, people? Really? Just. No.

Imagine you are waiting in line at the bank. It's the most boring, normal thing in the world until a band of armed robbers arrives and wreaks havoc.

Becca Nickles was biding her time in line watching a lovely little girl and her handsome father communicate with each other through American Sign Language (ASL).

When the robbers invade, Becca becomes an unwitting hero by volunteering to be their hostage, in the place of the frightened young girl.

Cade Tanner owes his little girl's life to seemingly fearless Becca, and he will do whatever it takes to liberate the brave woman from the criminals.

Amazon | Goodreads | Omasta on HCBS


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