Things...

I'm still here. And mostly okay.

Things have gone fairly quiet on the blog the last few weeks. I had posts scheduled but honestly didn't want to deal with comments and visitors. Sorry yall. Life kind of sucks sometimes and I was done for a bit. Still am more or less.

Two weeks ago I suddenly lost another baby. Mattie had been seemingly fine. He's one of my semi-ferals who I rarely could touch or get near but he would watch me and was a sweet little soul. Big owly eyes and snuggly with the other kitties. He'd been sleeping in a new spot but that happens now and again. But then he let me touch him. And pick him up.

Something was really wrong. Made a vet appointment and 30 minutes after we arrived he was gone. He'd had a tumor in his mouth/nasal cavity apparently (found after he was gone) and it had finally tipped all of his other organ systems into failure.

It was a pretty big blow. I've lost 4 kitties and a mouse at this point in 2019. Plus a few from my mom's house including the last of my childhood pets.

It's one of those things I know will happen. And happen often with an aging herd. But it really fucking sucks.

Losing Mattie came in the midst of a 2 month weird spell for me as well. Mid September I went off everything. I wasn't depressed or upset about anything. Nothing in particular was wrong. The herd was fine. The family was fine. I was fine. I just woke up and had absolutely no urge to do anything that I typically fill my hours with. No urge to read. No urge to cook. Or journal. Or plan. Or work in the garden. Absolutely all of my hobbies and interests were just suddenly meh. And there really wasn't anything that had caught my attention that had taken their place. Usually when I go off something and just don't feel like reading I've been hit with a blast of oh my gosh I need to cook all the things and try this new recipe and that one. Or I'm massively into a garden design. Or whatever. I've never had ALL of my interests desert me at once. It's disconcerting.

before the re-do. still working on the winter arrangement but this was "fall"

I wound up forcing the garden issue since winter was fast approaching and I really had no choice unless I was opting to lose about 6 months of garden progress. So I've spent a lot of time the last couple weeks digging things up, moving plants into a new greenhouse, pulling others, putting in new winter plants, finishing a garden bed. No real spark for it but it had to get done so it mostly did before the big freeze hit the area (we got down to 21 which is COLD for the south).

I've been doing a lot of work. If you follow me on FB or Twitter you know I started Instacart as a shopper. I do enjoy it. It's work and tiring but I'm good at it. My mission with it is to reduce my mortgage from a 15 year down to a 4 year which will make me entirely debt free by (gasp) 41. So I'm doing a lot of grocery shopping and then started DoorDash as well. It's new. Only a week in. But so far so good on both. I've been able to pay more than $1000 extra towards my mortgage in less than a month so a success so far.

Anywho. That's where things are. I'm kind of off everything still. I'm not really in the mood to post things to the blog and honestly I just don't have anything new to post since I've only read 2 books in 2 months and have no new food or anything to post. So a semi hiatus I guess until I get my mojo back on all the fun stuff. I am posting again a on social media though it's a bit scarce, too. I don't think I've gone more than a day without an Instagram post but it's been like 14 now. Ah well. Hopefully I'll spring out of this soon or force myself out of it. It's my favorite season and time of the year so hoping that'll give me the push I need.

I know a number of yall have had some grr arg happening too. I hope things are getting better and going well for everyone.

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