Monday, October 31, 2016

Quote-tastic/Review-- so ashamed!-- The Bachelor Auction by Rachel Van Dyken



Another new to me author! I've actually followed her on FB for ages but finally dove in and it was a cute read.

Fun characters, the whole Cinderella thing, donkeys. lol

I mean. We've all been there, right?
It was too early. Way too early for a donkey in the middle of the room.

Okay. So these two are a little longer but just cracked me the heck up. Brock's twin brothers. Lordy. Manwhores. Life of the party. Outrageous. Silly. Totally ended up loving them hard. They're visiting Brock and Jane and had all been playing board games and, well, he disappointed them something fierce. lol
"What?" He crossed his arms. "Why are you both looking at me like that?"

"You're an idiot." Brant shook his head slowly. "Did you really just...leave?"

Brock glanced back at the door then back at them. "She said she was tired! She yawned!"

"That doesn't mean you leave!" Bentley slapped a hand to his forehead. "You're such an idiot."

Brant just continued shaking his head in disappointment.

Brock lifted his hand into the air. "What the hell was I supposed to do? Fluff her damn pillow?"

"Yes!" They both yelled in unison.

"Offer a massage," said Bentley.

"Do you need a glass of water?" offered Brant.

"More blankets?" added Bentley.

"How about a fucking bedtime story?"

"What's that? You want me to stay with you until you fall asleep, get naked under the covers? What? You want me to touch your sweaty naked body and--" Bentley had always been the storyteller in the family.

Brant coughed.

"Sorry." Bentley exhaled. "I got carried away." He pointed in Brock's direction. "Stupidity does that to me."

Brock ran his hands through his hair and turned to re-open the door.

"No!" Brant shoved him back. "It's too late. Now you seem creepy and unsure."

Bentley nodded his head in agreement. "Completely wasted opportunity. I've never been so disappointed in a brother, and I live next door to this asshat."

"Thanks, man." Brant nodded.

"Anytime." Bentley flashed a smile. "Brock, go to bed. Think about all the bad choices made in just the past ten minutes and for fuck's sake fix them."
And then the "meet cute". The heroine had fallen on the dance floor and broke her shoe and he rescued her. They're hanging off dance floor and waiting for shoes to be delivered. It just made me giggle. 
"To new shoes?" Brock grabbed his drink and lifted it in the air toward her.

She lifted her glass and clinked it against his then took a small sip. The champagne was pink and sweet, with a tart aftertaste. "It's good."

"You sound surprised." Brock's lips lifted in a smile.

She scrunched up her nose. "I'm not much of a drinker, and I typically don't like drinks that are the same color as my underwear."

The minute the words were out of her mouth, she froze, barely managing to suppress the urge to clap a hand over her mouth. She wanted someone to run her over with a car.

With a choke, Brock nearly spit out the sip he'd just taken. Face flushed, he stared her down and then whispered, "You're making me regret my decision to send out for boring black shoes."

"I didn't...I mean, pink is fine." Stop talking, stop talking. "Not all of my underwear is pink. I have black, too."

Brock's lips parted with a greedy exhale, and he downed the rest of his drink. "Oh?"

Hell in a handbasket.

The Bachelor Auction (The Bachelors of Arizona #1)

Cheeky, light hearted, sexy. Rachel Van Dyken charmed with a Cinderella retelling that'll get you all hot and bothered and leave you dreaming of happily ever afters.

Okay, so, Brock's grandfather has decided it's time for him to settle down and his plan? A Bachelor Auction. Yup. He's going to the highest bidder! The hink in the plan? A mysterious and captivating woman he meets at a club one night. A little fairy godmother magic and family meddling and the two are stuck together for the month leading up to the auction. He's been sent on vacation to tend the family farm. She just happens to be the maid hired to clean the place up for it's new owners. Things might just get a little dirtier *waggles eyebrows* before they get all cleaned up.

I really liked both Jane and Brock. She's always been plain compared to her showy, garish sisters, he's always been boring compared to his manwhore. life-of-the-party twin brothers...but together they were passionate, explosive, and one helluva good time. I liked that they were both at a turning point in their lives and enjoyed seeing them break out of their ruts and live a little just for themselves.

This one had a lot of silly fun. It could be a little over the top cheesy goofy with things like calling the farm rooster a cock and the donkey an ass and having a good time making naughty innuendo in that regard. But it was entertaining. His brothers definitely added some liveliness to the story, her sisters the mean-girl attitude, and the animals brought lots of humor. It was rocking the Cinderella vibe pretty strongly. There was also a bit of serious in concerns to his work, both of them standing up to their families, making changes in their lives.

I did have one issue of the heroine slapping the hero. Yall know that's something that bugs me in romance. This is why. But that was really my only complaint.

Overall, The Bachelor Auction was a blast. Van Dyken won me over with an easy read full of charm and passion and has me craving more. I can't wait to see what romantic entanglements will ensnare Bentley and Brant.  

Jane isn't entirely sure that Cinderella got such a raw deal. Sure, she had a rough start, but didn't she eventually land a prince and a happily-ever-after? Meanwhile, Jane is busy waiting on her demanding, entitled sisters, running her cleaning business, and . . . yep, not a prince in sight. Until a party and a broken shoe incident leave Jane wondering if princes---or at least, a certain deliciously hunky billionaire---maybe do exist.

Except Brock Wellington isn't anyone's dream guy. Hell, a prince would never agree to be auctioned off in marriage to the highest bidder. Or act like an arrogant jerk---even if it was just a fa├žade. Now, as Brock is waiting for the auction chopping block, he figures it's karmic retribution that he's tempted by a sexy, sassy woman he can't have. But while they can't have a fairy-tale ending, maybe they can indulge in a little bit of fantasy . .

Amazon | Goodreads
Challenges: Pick Your Genre (contemporary) | New to You (author) |  Goodreads


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