Saturday, February 13, 2016

Randomly Random: Why Can't Fat & Sassy Be A Thing?!! *flails*

So. It's been a month since I got a Fitbit. And I've learned a few things.

I hate exercise. Now. This really wasn't in question pre-Fitbit. But it has been confirmed.

The next person who tells me "you just need to find the right type of exercise" is going to cause a sporkpage to happen. Don't make me spork you, people. Don't make me fucking spork you.

Seriously. I hate walking with the passion of a thousand fiery suns.

Listening to an audiobook while walking helps marginally. Maybe brings it down to a passion of a hundred fiery suns.

The #HerdPup hates walking just as much. Head hung, tail tucked, hide every time mom gets off the couch because dear god she's going to make me walk again!!! (and, seriously yall I'm talking walks of 500-800 steps).

I have weird neighbors who leave their front doors open at night (as late as 1130pm). Like door open,glass storm door as the only barrier. Not even to let in fresh air. Full glass storm door. Bunch of exhibitionist pervs! lol There are four houses.

There's a neighbor cat named Mia. She's very cute and friendly. Her not.

Birthday Cake Oreos. One in each hand. Might be the only way a couple of walks actually happened.

No matter which way I leave my house I'm gonna have to walk uphill to get back to it. Fucking damn hilly North Carolina!

Uphill steps should count double. So should ones in the rain, the cold, the heat, the snow or ice.

Multiple neighbors protest the free newspapers they insist on delivering to us just like I leaving the damn thing where it lands.

If I go out walking in pink sheep pjs. Even if at 1130pm. One of my damn neighbors will catch me.

I fucking hate exercise.

I doubled my movement and didn't really alter my eating (no extra splurges,etc)...and gained a freaking pound. What the hell?! It best be some damn muscle! *glares*

Fitbit sends notes..."congrats! only 1842 more steps to reach your goal today!" and I swear I wanna throat punch the bitch. ‪#‎killmenow‬ ‪#‎goodlordmakeitstop‬

Most of my steps happen between 1030pm and 1159pm. Not even gonna lie. lol


And I'll be damned if I'm gonna move once I hit my daily steps. Goal and DONE! I'll move again tomorrow. </discussion>

Seriously. Why can't fat and sassy be a thing?


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