Monday, April 23, 2012

Things I wish had NEVER been in my mouth! (A to Z)

Over the years I've learned there are some things that should just never, ever, never end up in your mouth. And I really do mean never! Just thinking about it ::shudder::

A few years back we went to Italy for our friends wedding (for those of you that came over for the P post this is the same trip from the whole penis biting incident). 

We were having a great trip. And then Venice happened. After a long day traveling people got a little cranky and there was a little tiff. We all went to our rooms to settle down and not wanting to go out we raided the mini fridge and met....Campari Soda. 

Aws. Cute little bottle. Darling, really. And it turns out....evil. 

Thinking it was just a little cherry soda or something like that off popped the lid and down went the "soda". And OMG! that was just, well, a really, really big mistake. Turns out it supposed to be mixed into a drink not just "enjoyed" straight and man do I wish I had known that little tidbit just a few minutes sooner. This stuff is just foul! And really likes to linger. Nothing would get rid of the taste. Brushing your teeth, gargling, eating other foods, drinking other drinks. Nope it coated your mouth and would.not.let.go. It's been like 6 years and still it just gave me a body shuddering flash back. 

Learn from my mistake people. Cuteness does not equal yumminess. 

Next up! Tofurky. Now, I'll totally admit it has been like 13 years since I've had one of these but it was just so bad it stuck with me! Back in high school I decided to go veggie on a bet (I still am all these years later and so won that bet). My first Thanksgiving my mom decided to make me a Tofurkey to go along with the dinner. She's pretty great, right?

Okay, so this one doesn't even look cute. But we had to give it a try. Over the years I've tried a LOT of fake meats. I like a lot of them. Some have been too realistic, some kinda tasteless. Tofurky, so fun to say and so, so, very....bad. 

It even came complete with faux-giblets and wishbone! Yeah. It was, just, unfortunate. 

Sweet Corn Cupcakes
This is one of the newest additions to the list. Back from the [C]upcake are the devil post earlier this month. They definitely merit another mention. 

Just imagine slightly sweetened cornbread with a huge dollop of oh so very sweet browned butter and powdered sugar icing. 

One of those things where your brain totally riots what's happening and there's a bit of a panic stricken search for the closest trash bin. 

Yeah. The dogs and cats wouldn't even touch them. 

Zombie Mints
Damn me and my impulse buys! This one kicked my ass and kicked it thoroughly.

We have a bunch of really great used bookstores in our town and I just cannot be held accountable when I'm let loose in one. Especially when there are little gifties around the check out.

And that's how Zombie mints happen. 

Yeah. They're pretty bad. One of the few times I didn't smell before I tasted and I ended up with a mouth full of liver flavored mints. Or, well, brain flavored mints. 

Awesome zombie tin. Awesomely bad zombie mints. 

Oh, and a little work related "Things I wish had NEVER been in my mouth"..... flea meds are really really bad too. I so sympathize with the cats and the whole foaming at the mouth darting around the house bit they do. The stuff is gross! Dewormer though tastes like banana. Just thought I'd share. :) 

So. What's the worst things that's ever made it's way to your mouth?!


  1. I was invited to had dinner at a friends house one night. It was the first of what would end up being many invitations to her house, but to tell you the truth I am quite surprised I came after the first one.

    She served, what I thought would be a lovely lemon chicken. Now I really like chicken, so much so I tend to eat it more than any other meat, but this almost turned me off forever. She had made the chicken with what I would say a tad bit too much lemon, actually it was more like a little chicken with the lemon. Stupid me took a nice healthy serving, so then, after the first bit I was in big trouble, as I knew I had to eat what I took or she might be offended. I can tell you there wasn't much chatter at the table, as my mouth was sucked dry and my lips were squeezed together like elevator doors.

    Whenever anyone suggests having lemon chicken now I slide quickly away and go make a peanut butter sandwich.

    1. Oh wow. It's always worse when you find yourself in that position in front of company. I'm so glad that hasn't happened to me. It's always just been with close friends or family. Whew! I think I'd be off lemon chicken too from the sounds of it! PB sandwiches definitely win out over that :)

  2. I had a rotten egg flavored Bertie Botts bean once. It was horrible. I bet your zombie mints tasted like that! Yuck!

    DT from Dead Trees and Silver Screens

    1. Oh, man. Why would they even put something like that out there?! Yeah, I'd say that was right with the zombie mints. Yick!

  3. Here in SC people love fried chicken livers. Ewww, Ewww, Ewww!! No thank you. I'm not very picky & can't think of anything I've tasted that was just horrible other than the chicken livers. And any other kind of liver. Some things I've seen that will never go into my mouth are those pickled eggs in those big jars in gas stations. Also the various cow parts they sell back there in the meat dept. Tongue is one. Ewww again. Oysters. I can't eat anything that looks like that. I won't even try fried ones because I know what they look like under the breading. I'm not a vegetarian but I don't eat a lot of meat. If I do it can't have any fat on it. NONE. If I bite down on a piece of fat I'm done eating. I don't eat anything on the bone either. Nope, I don't even eat Kentucky Fried Chicken. Eating meat is just more trouble than it's worth for me so I don't do it often.

  4. I was speaking for a women's group that met in the morning. They were having a buffet breakfast. First of all I have a great aversion to making food that *someone else* has prepared--like buffet food. As the guest speaker I was "invited" to go first. How could I refuse??? That's right, I couldn't. I thought I'd just get some fruit and maybe a a the end of the line was some kind of eggy breakfast casserole. First of all, I do NOT eat eggs unless they're in something and UNIDENTIFIABLE. (This stems from my father telling me, when I was a little girl, that eggs were unborn baby chickens. Of course this is true but for some reason knowing that has turned me off of eggs forever!) I would have taken a small piece, but the lady serving gave me a HUGE piece. I choked down a couple of bites and managed to secrete the rest in my napkin. Just, UGH.

    This is a fun blog! I'm visiting from the A to Z Challenge.

    1. Oh yeah that would be rough. I've had some trouble over the years with being a vegetarian. I just happen to be one who is completely grossed out by mushrooms and people LOVE to make mushroom dishes for vegetarians :)

      Glad ya figured out a way to stash the rest of it!

  5. The only one of those I know is Campari, and I love that! I only have it when I visit Italy, where you tried it, plus we drink it straight not as a mixer. The Tofurkey looks a little - slimy? Worst food? Hmm, do you know black pudding? It's thickened blood, cooked with fat and oatmeal. I've never actually eaten it, I've tried a few times, had it on a fork go right up to my lips but somehow can't get that morsel of black pudding go any further through - yuk!

    1. Really?! Oh my I just didn't like the stuff. Love the cute little bottle. I think I even have it still tucked away somewhere.

      I've heard of black pudding. Definitely one of those things I stay away from. ::shudder:: Gotta say you're pretty brave for even thinking about it!

  6. Cod liver oil is probably the WORST thing I've ever eaten. Gag a maggot stuff... my mother used to make us take it every morning. One day she discovered cod liver oil pills and they were way easier to take - only problem was they made you burp and those burps tasted exactly like, you guessed it, cod liver oil. BLECH.

    Really? The sweet corn muffins were that gross? I've never met a muffin I didn't like... unless maybe it was a cod liver oil muffin...

    1. Oh I'm so glad I've never had cod liver oil. That does not sound fun!

      Yeah the corn cupcakes were pretty bad. I think because they were so cupcake like. Light and fluffy, sweet with way sweet icing. Was just wrong. The bases weren't too bad on their own but with the icing. Nope.

  7. I was at the beach once and I'd gotten a milkshake at the cafe there. I had been drinking it for a while and was just down to the noisy part where your a the bottom of the cup and tring to get every little bit of the remainding milk through the straw. Well I ended up getting something solid come though the straw and the next thing I know I'm crunching down on it. At first I thought it was just a bit of ice. Turns outs it was a part of a cockroach.

    1. Oh wow. That's really rough. I would have so flipped out over that one!

  8. Oh, this post was just so funny! Tofurky? Um, no thanks...not even interesting in tasting a tiny little bite! hahaha.

    1. Yeah, it was quite the mistake. I so learned from my mistake on that one. Have stayed far, far away from them ever since :)


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