Friday, March 6, 2015

Word from the Herd: #EnjoyTheClapAndGettingKnockedUp aka...unsafe sex in romance books

So. I've been having an issue with books this month and decided I needed to get a little off my chest. I don't know what it is but I've been slammed with book after book lately where the heroes and heroines throw all common sense out the window and...have unsafe sex.

Consequences be damned!

Because you guys!!!! it feels so good! who cares if they've only known each other for 2 days...aren't on the Pill...of course they can trust that the other is clean even though they don't really know each other.

They want to feel alive! And you know. The pull out method...totally valid.

Sweet. Mary. Let my eyes not roll right out my damn head.

It's really starting to tick me off, gross me out and is just making my brain hurt for a couple of reasons. 

First off. Ew! So many characters are gloriously slut-tastic. Which is fine. But with it brought up-often multiple times-how can you not start to get totally squicked out thinking about how many people have been there/done that and then not using protection?! No. Just no. Not without some hardcore testing and scrubbing. ::shudders::

And two. It's just irresponsible.
Yes yes. I know the excuse used. It's fiction! It doesn't matter!

But I don't buy that. At all.

Yes romance books are about the fantasy.

But no where in my fantasy does it include getting an STD or knocked up.

And you know. Fiction does influence life. For good or for bad.

I'm constantly hearing from other readers of romance (and especially erotica) that say that since they've begun reading them they've gotten more adventurous and are more open to trying different things. I know that's true for me.

That's awesome, of course.

But it also shows how "fiction" can influence readers.

If unsafe sex is constantly put in people's faces and always ends perfectly with a HEA and marriage why wouldn't THAT start to influence people as well?

And I'm not saying that a condom has to be the only type of safe sex. But if they're not mentioned other precautions really need to be included to keep me from having a total eeeeewww-out and throwing me out of the book. And a condomless scene without any other protection...totally does throw me out of a scene and for the rest of the book I'm just waiting for that oopsie baby or fixating on how many honey post those sticks have spent time in and, yeah, no, not sexy. 

I know a lot of authors balk and groan about including them but gah there are so many possibilities--both fun and sexy--that can be brought into play. Some of the hottest scenes I've read have included condoms. Some of the funnest ones too. Some of the most real and powerful included discussion on testing and being clean.

And no a disclaimer at the start of the book that *it's assumed condoms are used in every scene* is not going to cut it for me. That's lazy authoring to me. An "I'm clean--I'm on the Pill" in the seconds pre-thrust. Not so much either. 

Anyways. It's really just something that's bugging me at the moment and I needed to talk a little about. I've been so disappointed this past week with the constant unsafe sex (even in a BDSM erotic series which really threw me because safe is a hardcore philosophy of the scene and screwing someone days after meeting them and NOT using protection...not safe or sane). All of the ones this week were awesome reads but brought down by scenes that--while hot--had a gross out factor or had me rolling my eyes at the lack of protection and common sense. And yea. It totally did bring down my ratings every single time.

Nothing sexy about unsafe sex.

I've seriously been thinking of starting a Goodreads shelf for #EnjoyTheClapAndGettingKnockedUp after this week's reads.
So that's the #WordFromTheHerd for this week.

Now, I want to hear what YOU think.
Condoms in romance?
A must have or please skip em?
Have you read any amazing scenes that included them?
Authors yall feel free to weigh in too.

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